Thinking....

I now understand fully why the bible says what it does, and 4 all those assuming it's not to rag on the baby daddies, but its because it's not fair 2 u, the other person, or the child 2 do it any other way. Most of us now a days come from a broken home and true we survive but at what cost, things were designed 4 the easiest flow 4 everyone, if u dont have anybody who gonna be right there 4 u u suffer, without a solid one ruled home the child is confused, when the timing not right people freak, split, hurt, all kinds of things, maybe we'll learn to slow down one day...

Growing Pains

We live and we learn right. That is ont phrase that is said 2 often, however it reigns true. Everyday we are faced with something and at the end of it were suppose to walk away having learned something and when we dont well u best believe your going to keep being put in that situation until you do, because until you learn you will fall for the same trap. The key though is to live and to keep living, for it's when we stop living and just start surviving that we stop learning and just cast aside, which needless to say not only doesn't work but often times leaves you paralyzed, you need to grow, you need to get bigger, stronger, faster, wiser, and yes it may cause pain but no pain no gain right....

I SURRENDER ALL

All to Jesus I surrender all, to him my blessed savior, i will ever love and trust him in, his presence, daily live, I surrender all, to you Jesus, I surrender all, and all to him my blessed savior, I surrender all. One of my favorite songs. Even though it may be about submitting, I love it because Jesus is the only person you can fully submit to. The only one who can pick you up out of any situation. No matter what. He is a just God, a loving God, the King of all kings, my Lord and Savior, and it is to him i submit.

Everyday is a blessing, even if it does feel like a curse. So much may happen, but despite that we should all have a many a reasons to smile. For the Lord takes care of his children. He protects us from dangers seen and unseen, he blesses us in so many ways, we don't even have room to receive. Yet so many times we don't even say thanks. But does that stop him, no, he keeps right on.

I smile because I can, I stand because he picks me up, I walk because he leads me, I live because he said so...

I really am at a lost for words right now, trying to hold on but everything around me is crumbling in. You would think with all going on around me I would be doing better then what I am right now, but for some reason my whole path is getting dimmer and dimmer by the day. Right now, my high risk pregnancy is standing strong but fading, and by the grace of God im praying that i make it to the end. However the wear and tear is appareant, if anyone even cared, im slowing down, im fighting hard, but if it's not one thing. Damn that Murphy's Law, but hey I know life is not fair. I just honestly need some type of something to help me stand my ground. Cause the more that I keep trying. The more I keep hitting the ground.

Today's Thoughts

Well today was a rather interesting one for me. It held so much wait and so many tears. I dont talk about it much, cause I hate to complain, but im sick, and I could be dying, yet I keep fighting. Im in and out the hospital for my child all week and myself all weekend. Im in constant pain, and constant emotional pull. Yet everyday I wake up, and even though I may not be as fast as I once was, I keep going. I keep fighting. I guess I never expected to see myself in this situation and as odd as it seems; even if i had to go back I would still choose my route. What you go through may have the capacity to tear you down, but it can also build you up, and just fighting for that happiness, that peace of mind, that love, trust, and faith and God. It makes my daily fight worth it. Until the next time. I will be a fighter for life...